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Apocalyptic Visions: Doomsday device

27/07/10 || Daemonomania

Well, since I did it to Ryan Samuel and his Incantation review, it is only fair to do it to myself as well. Back on November 21st, 2006, a younger Daemotard wrote a gushing review for “Doomsday device” on Metal Archives. As we all know, long as you ain’t sarcastic, creative, and can form a basic sentence or something close to one, anything goes on MA. So I will pick apart quotes from my own review (noted by d:) based on my current, superior metal knowledge. Take that homo younger demonomania. Yep, that’s how I used to spell it. Lower case for extra cool points. Quite edgy.

d: Apocalyptic Visions is, for one mysterious reason or another, unsigned.

The reason is not mysterious at all, douche. They have some stupid aesthetic about being the angriest band in America, and therefore REFUSE to be signed. How insanely metal.

d: This band really has just about everything a true fan of death metal could require…

I dunno about that. Considering myself a TRVE DM fan, this disc very rarely makes it into the old Onkyo (of death). While a few songs are indeed a pleasurable blast in the dome, the muffled production and large doses of meh outside of a few great tracks results in dust accumulation for DD.

d: Seriously, if you can listen to the song HUMANS! (what a title, damn HUMANS, they really are bastards) without a big grin cracking your face wide open, then you probably don’t like death metal.

Wow, I was really trying to prove something here, huh? “I am real and cvlt as shit, hear me roar!”. Chooch.

d: There is a classic feel throughout, and I definitely detect hints of NYDM acts like Immolation and Incantation, Floridian moments that have a strong Cannibal Corpse and Deicide vibe, and the vocals somewhat call to mind ole Evil Pete of Hypocrisy.

Any other bands you’d care to namedrop, demonomania? They sound a bit like Crowbar mixed with Judas Priest, with a dash of Bone Thugs-n-Harmony for good measure.

d: They need to add a bit of variety to the slow parts, but that’s about it.

No, they need to write more memorable songs. Haven’t heard their new one yet, entitled “Leave none living”, but I’m guessing that all 17 tracks on there are not all fantastic all the time. Or else we would have heard more about it. Which we haven’t. Oh wait, there’s 19 tracks, including:

…an untitled orchestral piece composed entirely by War (Sam Cuadra) in the scale of Hungarian Minor, a musical scale rarely used outside of Eastern Europe.

Damn, shit be pretto in the ghetto. Now for one last embarrassing review quote.

d: They also have a nice layout and art for the album, the CD tray pic makes me nervous that Cthulhu is coming! Pick it up, and you will both have an evil sneer on your face and wish that you owned a label.

Wow, I can imagine myself writing that in 2006. Probably wearing some JNCO jeans with a bunch of spikes and chains and a bad hairdo. So, so lame. IG ate that shit up though. He LOVES the cock. No wait, in 2006 I was fully entered into the job market. No dyed hair or baggy pants. Could I really have written it so recently? Ugh, the shame is endless.

So ends a trip down bad memory lane. Back in the old days I gave it a score of 90%, with the tagline “Puts A Big Death Metal Smile on My Face”. Apparently not the only thing someone was putting on or in my face four years ago. The revised score, as you can see, is below.

6,5

Information
Released: 2006
Label: Self-released
Website: Apocalyptic Visions MySpace
Band
War (Sam Cuadra): vocals, guitars
Famine (Dan Klein): guitars
Pestilence (Carey Brewer): vocals, bass
Plague (Cory Brewer): drums

Tracklist
01. I Demand Blood
02. In Battle Born
03. HUMANS!
04. Invocation Of Silence
05. Doomsday Device
06. Bastard Son Of Nazareth
07. Impurity
08. Slaughtered Lamb
09. Bonecleaner
10. Teeth
11. Deathblow

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